Have you ever been so overwhelmed by a situation and you feel that it is just too much for you and you do not have the strength to take it and you wonder why it is happening to you? Well… if your answer is yes then maybe it might do you well to know that some other people have also gone through the same experience at some point. Unfortunately others have been driven by some really tough situations to a point of having depression and others to suicidality.
This does not necessarily come as a consolation but perhaps for someone else, knowing that they are not alone, does help a bit. That may help them cope better in such situations.
Be that as it may, with this writing, I want to share another perspective, a reality that brings consolation more than the one found in the fortitude of numbers. Before delving into the details, borrow me your attention as I put your imagination into this short story:
A young lad has come home from boarding school. It is the 1st term holidays and his parents, who want only what is best for him recently sent him to a fancy boys boarding school for his primary grades because they have heard of the school’s curriculum and the school’s emphasis on a balanced lifestyle between academics and extracurricular activities. January of that year, their decision was confirmed to be the right one by the young boy’s equal excitation and keenness to go to that school. However, on their way home, they noticed that his excitation about the school has waned and the atmosphere turns gloomy on mention of his favourite sport, rugby. Upon further enquiry about the situation; with much hesitancy, he finally opened up to them and told them that he was being bullied by other boys because he was not as strong as them in many ways but especially in weight training. Other boys go above 20 kg bench but he cannot do that. From the way he was narrating the stories to them, it was more than evident that his self-confidence had taken a major hit from this, as the overlap in other spheres, including academics was quite conspicuous. This obviously didn’t sit well with the parents and his father decided to do something about it.
A few days down the line, the father decided to ask for the young boy’s help when moving stuff in the garage to their newly built store room. Before beginning the task, he gave him a warning that, the boxes and tools were quite heavy. He started off by weighing and labelling the approximated weight of some boxes and would put unlabelled boxes with similar weight next to the labelled ones. Noticing that the boy struggled when he got around the 20 kg mark, he said he will take the 20kg boxes and every other box above that mark himself to the store room, as the boy was way too young to do that at that point. He left the ones labelled 18kg and below for the boy to take. Indeed the boy started from 6kg and made his way up to 18kg because he knew he could handle it. He was not going to even try with anything labelled more than 20kg. He started the 18kg pile, he took the labelled one to the store room and then moved to the unlabelled ones. He could feel that these were a little heavy but they were in the 18 kg pile and he most definitely could take 18kg. The whole process took a few days, the drag being more on the last pile. Upon moving the last box in the pile, the father asked him to weigh it before putting it away. Lo and behold, the box measured 22kg and the boy had taken it. The father then proceeded to ask him to help with the 22Kg pile because he has done it already and indeed the boy helped with the pile and the Job was done! He later explained to him that he had gotten a little stronger by moving the other boxes and that, more than anything else, his mental block around 20kg would have prevented him from moving those boxes, had he known their weight even though that accomplishment was well within his physical capabilities. He also gave the assurance that with much diligence, he would gain the strength to lift much heavier weights. To cut the long story short, the boy grew up to be THE ROCK!
Of course that last sentence is not true and before you start asking how many those boxes were and how big that garage was, you may want to start by asking your maths teacher about John who had 80 watermelons and ate 60 of them.
Jokes aside. What point am I bringing to the table?
Allow me to bring this perspective forward. Just like the young lad who was being bullied by others, the tough situations that we come across in this phenomenon we call ‘life’, present themselves as bullies and cause us not to enjoy life but rather to be sad and gloomy, pushing others into depression and suicidality. Some often feel worthless and overwhelmed and just cannot see the way out. The boy’s father knew that there is a way out of that situation. We also have a Father who always has our back in such situations and who always provides a way out of the tough situation. Paul puts it this way:
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
1 Corinthians 10:13
Just like the boy’s father took away the larger boxes himself and left the ones he knew the boy would be capable to handle, our Father weighs every ‘tough situation’ before allowing it to come upon us. The ones he knows we cannot handle, he does not even allow them to come upon us and only allows those he has weighed prior in comparison with our strength, the ones he knows that we are strong enough to handle them. The next time you feel that “I can’t do this, it is just too heavy for me”, better believe that you are much stronger than what you think you are. Just as a side note to this point, you will notice that I am saying, God allows these situations to come upon us. He does not cause them. Many times I have heard people complaining that the will of God is painful. I want to make this point: God’s will does not necessarily mean what he wants. It sometimes means, what he allows to happen because he has the full power to prevent it from happening. Remember that in the story of life, there is another player, the adversary, the devil who is the villain. He always wants to inflict pain on us while God on the other hand wants only what is best for us. God therefore sometimes allows the devil to have his way on us, according to what he knows we can handle. If you don’t believe me, go ask Job in the bible. He does this because he knows that there are lessons we have to learn in life’s journey. He himself equips us with the necessary strength even before allowing the calamity to fall upon us. A writer, Annie Finch puts it this way:
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater, He sendeth more strength when the labors increase. To added affliction, He addeth His mercy. To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace. When we have exhausted our store of endurance, when our strength has failed ere the day is half done. When we reach the end of our hoarded resources, Our Father full giving is only begun.
Another point to bring forward is that sometimes it is not that we are incapable to accomplish certain tasks but it is our mental limitations that disable us from achieving those accomplishments. Marianne Williamson puts it this way:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”
A return to love. (best seller 1992)
Remember this the next time you are faced with a seemingly big task which seems impossible to achieve.
This brings me to my other point. One would consider this one a cliché but it is extremely important in achieving big tasks. Remember, bigger tasks are made of smaller building blocks and for you to tackle them you have to take them one step at a time. Granny from looney tunes once said to Twitty the bird: “Bit by bit, pace by pace. A little patience will win the race”. A good application of this will help in realising that the enormous task before you may not be that impossible after all.
There is much more that we can extrapolate from that story but I want to conclude by this one:
The solution to the boy’s problem only came after he opened up and trusted his parents. Our Father in heaven is asking for nothing more than that. He just wants us to open up and tell the ‘tough situations’ to him and he will provide a way out because, There always is one!
Therefore, the next time you find yourself in an overwhelming “ I can’t do this” or “how do I get out of this” situation. You are already much stronger than it and there is already a way out. Tell the father about it.
Timwritings 