Timwritings

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Going through the most? You may want to read this

Have you ever been so overwhelmed by a situation and you feel that it is just too much for you and you do not have the strength to take it and you wonder why it is happening to you? Well… if your answer is yes then maybe it might do you well to know that some other people have also gone through the same experience at some point. Unfortunately others have been driven by some really tough situations to a point of having depression and others to suicidality.

This does not necessarily come as a consolation but perhaps for someone else, knowing that they are not alone, does help a bit. That may help them cope better in such situations.

Be that as it may, with this writing, I want to share another perspective, a reality that brings consolation more than the one found in the fortitude of numbers. Before delving into the details, borrow me your attention as I put your imagination into this short story:

A young lad has come home from boarding school. It is the 1^st term holidays and his parents, who want only what is best for him recently sent him to a fancy boys boarding school for his primary grades because they have heard of the school’s curriculum and the school’s emphasis on a balanced lifestyle between academics and extracurricular activities. January of that year, their decision was confirmed to be the right one by the young boy’s equal excitation and keenness to go to that school. However, on their way home, they noticed that his excitation about the school has waned and the atmosphere turns gloomy on mention of his favourite sport, rugby. Upon further enquiry about the situation; with much hesitancy, he finally opened up to them and told them that he was being bullied by other boys because he was not as strong as them in many ways but especially in weight training. Other boys go above 20 kg bench but he cannot do that. From the way he was narrating the stories to them, it was more than evident that his self-confidence had taken a major hit from this, as the overlap in other spheres, including academics was quite conspicuous. This obviously didn’t sit well with the parents and his father decided to do something about it.

A few days down the line, the father decided to ask for the young boy’s help when moving stuff in the garage to their newly built store room. Before beginning the task, he gave him a warning that, the boxes and tools were quite heavy. He started off by weighing and labelling the approximated weight of some boxes and would put unlabelled boxes with similar weight next to the labelled ones. Noticing that the boy struggled when he got around the 20 kg mark, he said he will take the 20kg boxes and every other box above that mark himself to the store room, as the boy was way too young to do that at that point. He left the ones labelled 18kg and below for the boy to take. Indeed the boy started from 6kg and made his way up to 18kg because he knew he could handle it. He was not going to even try with anything labelled more than 20kg. He started the 18kg pile, he took the labelled one to the store room and then moved to the unlabelled ones. He could feel that these were a little heavy but they were in the 18 kg pile and he most definitely could take 18kg. The whole process took a few days, the drag being more on the last pile. Upon moving the last box in the pile, the father asked him to weigh it before putting it away. Lo and behold, the box measured 22kg and the boy had taken it. The father then proceeded to ask him to help with the 22Kg pile because he has done it already and indeed the boy helped with the pile and the Job was done! He later explained to him that he had gotten a little stronger by moving the other boxes and that, more than anything else, his mental block around 20kg would have prevented him from moving those boxes, had he known their weight even though that accomplishment was well within his physical capabilities. He also gave the assurance that with much diligence, he would gain the strength to lift much heavier weights. To cut the long story short, the boy grew up to be THE ROCK!

Of course that last sentence is not true and before you start asking how many those boxes were and how big that garage was, you may want to start by asking your maths teacher about John who had 80 watermelons and ate 60 of them.

Jokes aside. What point am I bringing to the table?

Allow me to bring this perspective forward. Just like the young lad who was being bullied by others, the tough situations that we come across in this phenomenon we call ‘life’, present themselves as bullies and cause us not to enjoy life but rather to be sad and gloomy, pushing others into depression and suicidality. Some often feel worthless and overwhelmed and just cannot see the way out. The boy’s father knew that there is a way out of that situation. We also have a Father who always has our back in such situations and who always provides a way out of the tough situation. Paul puts it this way:

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
1 Corinthians 10:13

Just like the boy’s father took away the larger boxes himself and left the ones he knew the boy would be capable to handle, our Father weighs every ‘tough situation’ before allowing it to come upon us. The ones he knows we cannot handle, he does not even allow them to come upon us and only allows those he has weighed prior in comparison with our strength, the ones he knows that we are strong enough to handle them. The next time you feel that “I can’t do this, it is just too heavy for me”, better believe that you are much stronger than what you think you are. Just as a side note to this point, you will notice that I am saying, God allows these situations to come upon us. He does not cause them. Many times I have heard people complaining that the will of God is painful. I want to make this point: God’s will does not necessarily mean what he wants. It sometimes means, what he allows to happen because he has the full power to prevent it from happening. Remember that in the story of life, there is another player, the adversary, the devil who is the villain. He always wants to inflict pain on us while God on the other hand wants only what is best for us. God therefore sometimes allows the devil to have his way on us, according to what he knows we can handle. If you don’t believe me, go ask Job in the bible. He does this because he knows that there are lessons we have to learn in life’s journey. He himself equips us with the necessary strength even before allowing the calamity to fall upon us. A writer, Annie Finch puts it this way:

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater, He sendeth more strength when the labors increase. To added affliction, He addeth His mercy. To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance, when our strength has failed ere the day is half done. When we reach the end of our hoarded resources, Our Father full giving is only begun.

Another point to bring forward is that sometimes it is not that we are incapable to accomplish certain tasks but it is our mental limitations that disable us from achieving those accomplishments. Marianne Williamson puts it this way:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”
A return to love. (best seller 1992)

Remember this the next time you are faced with a seemingly big task which seems impossible to achieve.

This brings me to my other point. One would consider this one a cliché but it is extremely important in achieving big tasks. Remember, bigger tasks are made of smaller building blocks and for you to tackle them you have to take them one step at a time. Granny from looney tunes once said to Twitty the bird: “Bit by bit, pace by pace. A little patience will win the race”. A good application of this will help in realising that the enormous task before you may not be that impossible after all.

There is much more that we can extrapolate from that story but I want to conclude by this one:

The solution to the boy’s problem only came after he opened up and trusted his parents. Our Father in heaven is asking for nothing more than that. He just wants us to open up and tell the ‘tough situations’ to him and he will provide a way out because, There always is one!

Therefore, the next time you find yourself in an overwhelming “ I can’t do this” or “how do I get out of this” situation. You are already much stronger than it and there is already a way out. Tell the father about it.

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The gold-standard man in a society of rape culture

Written : 04/09/2019

Updated : 20/06/2020

South African minds are currently preoccupied and astonished by rape statistics in the country. Women and children have come to a sad realisation that there really is nowhere to hide and there are no absolute precautionary measures they can take to ascertain their safety because their mere existence is an aphrodisiac for the rapists. This bewildering, gruesome awakening follows the sad discovery of Uyinene’s death, a young lady who was reported missing and was later declared on 2^nd September 2019 to have been murdered. Tracing her story, it was found that she went to take a parcel from the post office, where she encountered the man who not only forced himself on her but also prematurely ended her life. This story is not the first of its nature and I can almost guarantee, not the last, unless the root cause is addressed. Her story has caused a major uproar across the Republic, yielding many strategies, attempting to address to the problem of rape in the country including vigils, protests, hashtags, handles and the like. One of the popular Twitter handles is @helpsurvivors where citizens are revealing previously concealed sexual harassment and assault cases and their perpetrators. To many people’s surprise, names of people they know and those of well-respected people including celebrities, teachers, pastors, church leaders, politicians were mentioned. People who were considered to be the epitome of how a man should behave were found on the list. What a bummer!

A conundrum hangs on our heads, Are there any men in this country?

This writing in particular serves to present the gold standard man, particularly in respect to sexual conduct, as this has proven to be quite a deficiency in the typical young man in the society. More often I allude to ‘the typical man’, a term not inclusive of every man but inclusive of majority of men within the society.

Throughout ages, it has been a norm that the typical man will, at some point in his life, have intimacy with a lady. Explanations of this intrinsic desire have been brought forward by many worldviews including Science, philosophy, religion, culture even informal friendship conversations. Dr. Robert Ford, a character in Westworld says,

“The human intellect is like peacock feathers. Just an extravagant display intended to attract a mate. All of Art, literature, a bit of Mozart, William Shakespeare, Michelangelo, and the Empire State building… just an elaborate mating ritual.”

Really though? Is that all we are? A species living just to find another strategy of courtship behaviour? The truth is many individuals and cultures have aligned themselves with this ideology in one way or another. Some have even associated manhood and masculinity with having more than one sexual partner. A man cannot really be a man if he has one or no sexual partner. The school of the porn industry has also done an excellent job in teaching and propagating a sexually minded society of people who only live to please their sexual desires.

It is true that the typical man has sexual desires, especially one who has had their first sexual encounter. Many man in cases of infidelity, sexual harassment and assault have used this as an explanation for their deeds. “A man has needs”, they’ve said. “A man has 2 heads and only enough blood to flow through 1 at a time”, they’ve also said, connoting that one has no control over their sexual desires. Is this really true?

Human beings have emotional intelligence which is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. In simple terms it is the ability to act in the right manner, regardless of how you feel. The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and act, considering how they would feel, thus superseding your own feelings or emotions. Many people lack this and they act out of their instantaneous emotions. Good news is, it is acquirable. One the most distinct features of humans beings, homo sapiens so to say, in relation to the animal kingdom is the size of frontal lobes which is relatively larger, more importantly, larger than the other parts of the brain that control vegetative behaviours such as sexual desire. This is where judgement, the willpower which is the power of self-control and other mental powers reside. One must therefore follow the ratio.

If only it were as simple as evolutionary thinking would deem. Evidence has proven that it takes more than just simple anatomy to achieve that. We cry more nowadays about rape than we ever had before.

The willpower tends to need an anchor to be effective. For one to be able to choose a plate of vegetables over a bar of chocolate, the will anchors on the knowledge that the former is healthier. Without delving into issues of a relativistic world where one can argue for the healthiness of the chocolate bar over the plate of vegetables, I would like to present an anchor for willpower when it comes to issues of sexual conduct. I staunchly believe that any active rapist or potential thereof can find help if they can be able to align their governing principles with that of the originator. Another truth is that we are creatures and our physiology is best known by the one who created us.

One religious writer writes, “The greatest want of the world is the want of men—men who will not be bought or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true and honest, men who do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole, men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.
But such a character is not the result of accident; it is not due to special favors or endowments of Providence. A noble character is the result of self-discipline, of the subjection of the lower to the higher nature—the surrender of self for the service of love to God and man.”
Ellen G White – Education

Take an example of a Bible character, Joseph, where he is in a house with only him and his employer’s wife who is described to be beautiful and well structured, a vista in human form. She offers to have sex with him, the dream of the typical man. He was countless kilometres away from home with no companions, he must have been lonely. If they do this, no one will ever know. Guess what he does? He runs away! WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU RUN AWAY JOSEPH? Imagine a young man telling his story to the typical young man of our society of how he ran away when this pretty girl offered to lay him down. His normality would be in question, a laughing stock for days.

For Joseph this was not in line with his governing principles. He ran, avoiding any possibility of him yielding to his instantaneous emotions, a possible situationship as one would say. His principles as a creature were in line with those of the creator of the universe who prescribes ways of living for us in order to be in peace with each other and with him as a creator. Many who have been in similar situations have yielded to their sexual desires. Ramifications of this are broken homes, fatherless children, broken friendships, unfruitful relationships, regrets and rape victims.

A lesson for the typical man who desires to acquire emotional intelligence, particularly with sexual conduct, would be to actively avoid situations where his sexual desires would overpower him. However the most effective precautionary measure he can take is to subject his lower passions to the higher nature, that of the creator. These principles can be applied by every man. A man who is not in a relationship to keep him from yielding to sexual desire and one in a marriage relationship to restrain him from infidelity. In this context, even a man who has actually raped someone before or for whatever reason, one who feels they do have the capacity within them to be potential rapists. God awaits to extend his helping hand to anyone who needs such help.

A true man is one who is not governed by his sexual desires but one who controls his passions and emotions, taking into consideration the emotions of others as well and how his actions will affect the other person now and in the long run.

It is quite evident that this country is in dire need of the gold standard man, reference point for other men to see when it comes to matters of sexual behaviour. Be that man.

Manifestation candles: You may want to blow out those candles

If you open your whatsapp right now, there is a good likelihood that one of your contacts has posted something they would like to have and as a caption to that desired item, there is atleast a candle if not a couple of them. This is often linked to ‘manifesting’ the desired outcome to reality, while to some people it is just a simple “I’d like to have this”. Dare I to say, maybe even you have done this at some point, be it jokingly or by just following a trend. I know I have. Have you ever questioned where this concept is coming from? Well if you have, then you definitely want to read this writing. If you haven’t, perhaps you should’ve.

Candles have been around for some time. Their origins can be traced as far back as the BCE years. Their invention has been attributed to different groups of people like Chinese around 200BCE who made them from whale fat and some have attributed them to the Egyptians. They have served various purposes throughout the ages from being functional sources of light as popularly known by many South Africans (more so recently due to everyone’s fair share of load shedding) to religious, recreational, fragrance production, you name it. The one use of candles that I’d like to draw your attention to is that of Candle Magic, which is why I am writing this.

What is Candle magic?

In attempting to find a comprehensive definition, I came across these 2 definitions:

“It is the use of candles, fire which is the element of transformation in order to create a shift in your life, in your physical reality to manifest things that you want” ( Mel Lissa). A more formal definition by medical dictionary on ‘the free dictionary by farlex’ says it is a superstitious practice by pagans and wiccans, consisting of spells and rituals which are claimed to help one achieve health, love, money, success, as well as relief from busybodies, ex-lovers and “unwanted” suitors.

picture showing candle magic by pixels on Pixabay.com

The whole idea of candles as captions to desired items is rooted on this pagan practice of witches casting spells to attract whatever they desire. FYI I do not use ‘witch’ as a cuss word but this is what they refer to themselves as. This practice has been around for many years, practised by different people in different cultures, South Africa included. Some areas in the world today, like some areas in Britain and the United States are opening up to this idea and making it an acceptable social practice as part of embracing paganism as a religion. Paganism is a topic of its own, which I will not focus on in this particular writing but I want to mention that even though it’s popularity is only slowly increasing now, pagan practices and holidays have always been around but a lot of them come dressed in different garments, often those of Christianity. Popular Holidays such as Valentine, Easter to mention a few have pagan origins. In a world of Instagram and soft life, candle magic is also on the rise as a practice because people want success. Paganism is the worship of gods not God YHWH, Umdali (the creator.)

One might say, “when I post candles, I do not do it to practise candle magic, It has a different meaning to me” or “what harm does it do?“ One must understand that Paganism wants its days to be celebrated and practices to be practised regardless of the name or intention they come under. That on its own should be a redflag to engaging in pagan practices and celebrations. To someone who believes and is interested in serving God only as the creator, I want to bring to your attention that God does not want paganism, its practices (including candle magic) and holidays nor does he want his people to engage in them.

Deuteronomy 18: 9-12: Once you enter the land that the LORD your God is giving you, don’t try to imitate the detestable things those nations do. 10There must not be anyone among you who passes his son or daughter through fire; who practices divination, is a sign reader, fortune-teller, sorcerer, 11or spell caster; who converses with ghosts or spirits or communicates with the dead. 12All who do these things are detestable to the LORD! It is on account of these detestable practices that the LORD your God is driving these nations out before you.

God is the sole Creator of the Universe and only Him must be served. Engaging in pagan practices is an insult to him. If you desire anything in your life whether it be health, love, money, success then speak to God and ask those things from him. Isiah 59:1,2 “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. ²But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.

2 Chronicles 7: 14-15 : If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. ¹⁵Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.

I must clarify that candles in and of themselves are just objects, quite useful even, nothing wrong with them. A lot of us were posting candles with the intention of ‘manifesting’ things without knowing what they truly mean and where they come from, but now we do and with this information, one can do whatever they desire. If one has no objection in the practices and service of other gods, then by all means, do what you must. I leave you with the words of Joshua:

“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. ¹⁵But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24: 14,15

Bringing down unemployment rate in South Africa

South Africa, just like any other country, has its problems. One of the commonest cries one hears echoing from every corner of this country is the cry for unemployment. According to statistics South Africa we are (at the time of writing this) currently sitting at 35.3% unemployment rate, up by 0.4% from end last year. One can even argue that some problems we face as a country, like poverty and crime, may well be rooted, thus steming from this one. The logical outworking of this claim is not absolutely justifiable but absolutely clear, however is not the focus of this writing. The focus is to bring to light some treasures excavated from ancient wisdom that may be a solution to the problem at hand; unemployment that is.

When looking at some stories in the chronicles of ancient words, there is a recurring theme, a lesson almost impossible to be missed even by a person who is not looking close enough. If one is to adapt this lesson, I can assertively guarantee them that by doing so, they would have taken a few steps toward the light at the end of the tunnel. What lesson am I talking about? Perhaps let us look at some narratives that entail this theme so you can see for yourself.

In a certain City called Zarephath, there was a woman who had lost her husband. The woman was now left with their son and they had no source of income. It was during a drought season and whatever food they had had waned away and there was only a handful of flour and oil between them and starvation to death. One day she met a prophet who asked her for bread. After explaining their situation to him, he insisted on the bread and then he informed her of God’s promise that neither the flour nor the oil will be finished until there was rain again on their land. Indeed God kept His promise.

Have you heard of the great exodus from Egypt to Canaan? Well the leader of the throng for the greater part of the journey was a man called Moses. He was called by God Himself to the task. Moses gave some excuses prior to taking on the task and reasonably so. He was to stand before Pharaoh the king of Egypt and make a case for him to release Israelites who were, basically, property to the Egyptians because they were slaves and were thus responsible for a big part of building the infrastructure as well as the economy of Egypt. Now that’s a task for someone who really knows how to use words because a lot of convincing statements have to be made! The only problem is that Moses had a disfluent speech. Eventually God showed him that it is not Moses’ eloquence in speech that will set Israelites free but Him as God. I want to bring your attention to this. God asks Moses, “What is that in your hand?” “A rod”, He replied. He instructed him to cast it down and it turned to a snake. He used the same rod in Egypt and for many other miracles on the journey to Canaan. It was not the power of the rod that did all that, as it was nothing more that just wood, but that of God manifested in the rod.

There was a certain man who was travelling to another country. Before he left his place he gave some money to his servants for them to invest according to their capabilities. On his return most of the servants had doubled the capital amount in returns except for one who just saved it in “ fear” of losing the money. Atleast that’s what he claims to be his reason for not having returns. His employer seems to know better because he ascribes it to his laziness, perhaps that’s why he got one talent from the first place. Yep, that’s the story of talents in the book of Matthew. Be that as it may, that is not my focus.

Look at these 3 stories. A common factor to all of them is that there is a problem to be solved and the solution comes from the resources at each person’s disposal. For the woman the problem was starvation and what she had was flour and oil. That is what she used. Moses came across some problems and what he had was a rod, and that is what he used. For the servants, the problem was to make profit for their master and they used the resources they had at their disposal to do that. There you have it! A precious crystal from ancient words.

A lot of people are waiting for employment so they can be able to make a living. During their wait, some are totally ignorant of what they already have at their disposal, be it resources around them, ‘small’ opportunities or their inborn talents. As you have seen in the naratives; God uses the little one has and He multiplies it for the willing individual. “What is that in your hand?” is the same question He is asking. Look therefore around you and in you. What can you use to start something of your own?

God is there willing to subtend and multiply your good effort in pursuing your God-given talent and using the resources you already have. He is saying the same words he said to Gideon, “Go in the strength you have”. You do not need anymore things to start except starting. He will multiply your efforts, so long as you call him into it and meet the prerequisites.

Nkosi sikelela iAfrika ( God bless Africa). We must live and strive for freedom (including financial freedom) in South Africa our land. God is waiting to heal this land on individual level.

His message is clear:

“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14

My first time handling a beating heart

Unlike my first two posts on this website, which are more about discussing ideas, I thought I should, this time around, tell you a story, and what better story is there to tell than the story of the first time I handled a beating heart.

I specifically and intentionally mention the common word ‘beating’ because it was not my first time handling a human heart in my hands. Ask any medical student from Walter Sisulu University, where I recently acquired my MBChB (Bachelor in Medicine and bachelor in Surgery) degree and they will tell you that dissection of Cadavers starts as early as first year in anatomy class. Therefore, the first time I handled a human heart was in sophomore year of medical school during the cardiovascular block. The difference this time around was that, it was ACTUALLY PUMPING BLOOD in a living person!

Some already know that I am currently doing my internship at Helen Joseph hospital in Johannesburg, South Africa. Currently (at the time of writing this post), I am rotating in General Surgery. Our system in South Africa is similar to the UK’s in that we rotate in different specialties as interns, analogous to a foundation year doctor in the UK. The US uses a similar term “intern” but do something a little different from us.

The current system at Helen Joseph hospital is that when you are on call as a surgical intern, you are either doing a SERA call, ward call or Emergency department (ED) call. On SERA call you see patients that are referred by the ED team to Surgery. As ward call, you cover all surgical wards, see red flags (critical patients handed over by day team for monitoring at night), put up Intravenous lines on patients and other procedures, are called for resuscitations as well as cover emergency theatre cases with the Surgical Registrar on call. In Emergency department calls you see patients as they enter the hospital, give immediate treatment and either discharge them home or send them to the appropriate department for further management.

On this particular night I was on ward call. It was already after midnight sometime in the AMs and my ringtone was already the worst sound I could possibly hear as I had been hearing it incessantly the entire night. “How long till day break?” was the daunting question on my head as I hadn’t even brought some food with me that night and hunger was playing games on me.

Just when I was running a blood gas on the machine at casualty ground floor, thinking of the lengthy path I’ll have to take back to the 6^th floor, the paramedics came in rushing with a patient on a stretcher. The patient was handed over to the ED team and immediately the surgical registrar on call, Dr Jassat was informed. Luckily she was seeing a patient on the bed just next to that one in the Resuscitation area.

This entire scene was not very surprising as you can imagine, we were after all in a hospital. I continued to run my gas, minding my own business, knowing very well that there are 20+ doctors in that ED, way more experienced than an intern with only 4 months experience as a doctor, therefore that patient was more than safe. A minute or so later I was alarmed when I saw Dr Jassat literally running to theatre and almost the entire ED team around the patient, if you’ve seen Greys anatomy. It was not my first time on call with her and we had had emergency cases before, acute abdomens, bowel obstructions, incarcerated ischaemic hernias and the like but I had never seen her run to theatre. I must mention that I’m actually quite grateful to have worked with her as she is quite an incredible registrar who likes teaching and is just an overall nice person.

On with story, my friend and colleague, Dr Barnard was also nearby so I asked her, “Hey Andy, what’s happening?” “There’s a guy with a stab heart that was just brought in”, she replied. That moment I had a flash back of the one time I saw a stab heart case as a student doing my 4^th year in medical school. 2 registrars and a consultant were doing the case but today there’s one registrar and a ward… “Wait a munite, I’m the ward call today!”, it clicked. That moment I quickly made my way to theatre. On arrival, the theatre was packed with ED doctors, anaesthetists and nurses. My Registrar was giving orders on what should be happening and was about to scrub. When I entered the theatre she only said one word, “Scrub!”. That very moment I quickly scrubbed and put on sterile garments. She also scrubbed and we proceeded to the table. The scrub nurse and the anaesthetist were also ready. Patient was already cleaned and draped.

“Sternal saw please”, She requested. Trying to assemble the different parts of the saw and connecting the machine, the scrub nurse realised that the saw is not working. This is an instrument used to open the sternum which is the bone on the front part of the chest. The alternative to that is a lebsche knife, which is a more “ancient” method to start a sternotomy. The lebsche knife happened to be in the sternotomy set. The big doctor called for it and the mallet, positioned the knife and started hitting. It seemed as though the knife was not sharp enough and thus more pounding was needed. As expected, fatigue began to set in because much effort is required with this older method of opening.

Realising this, I requested that I take over this part of the operation. Obviously as a senior she started instructing, “hold the lebsche upright and hit in that direction.” In my head I knew, if anything were to go wrong in the surgery, it would not be this part of the surgery. A hammer to a nail was not a foreign concept to me, from as far back as I can remember. A lebsche knife therefore was way bigger than a nail for me to miss or mess up. I started hitting and within no time, the chest was open.

Opening the mediastinum, one could barely see the heart because blood started squirting out. My senior called for a suture and we started suturing, and soon enough, the heart was closed. An inspection of the entire heart confirmed that there weren’t any other injuries to the heart. I could see the coronary vessels just like in anatomy class, textbook and some very few surgeries I’d seen before, difference now is that I felt the contractility on my hand with no obscuring skin and bone. More importantly, the patient was holding blood pressures and was okay.

At this point the consultant walked in and it was a proud moment for the team. We closed the chest, and by this, I close the story of the first time I handled an actual pumping human heart for the first time.

To surgeons, more especially cardio-thoracic surgeons, this is a thing they do. To some of us, these moments are priceless. Thank you for reading through.

Full awareness of God’s presence

Written : 03/08/2019

One of the most thriving questions to the human race is the question of origin. Where do we come from? Is our existence a result of chance or is our existence a result of intentional creation? A plethora of answers have been brought forward by different world views. The objective of this writing is not to directly answer the question of origin, though indirectly and inevitably, will be answered. The article rather moves from a point where God is recognised as the sole Creator and sustainer of the universe. The objective is to explore the importance of constant full awareness of God’s presence.

Many of those who believe in God have also believed in a popular ideology that there are times and activities of neutrality where some activities are neither for, nor against God but are just neutral. A belief that sometimes we are in the presence of God and sometimes not. This largely popularised ideology usually comes through media and other platforms as a way of ‘accommodating’ all world views. Ramifications of this ideology are quite evident in the believer’s intermittent awareness of God’s presence in various moments and not in some. Different aspects of one’s spirituality are affected by this, including spiritual edification, faith, morality and others. The question is, what would happen if one was to be in constant full awareness of God’s presence?

This very short writing focuses on a few aspects of an individual’s life in light of the question.

Spiritual edification

As the creator of the entire Universe, God has lessons planted all around for us to learn. In our day to day activities, nature and our various fields of study, God’s attributes can be seen. Paul puts it this Way, “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse” (Romans 1:20). Intelligent design all around us, testifies of a designer. Even the popular Atheist, Richard Dawkins utters these words to testify of this intelligence: “Well, it could come about in the following way. It could be that at some earlier time, somewhere in the universe, a civilisation evolved… to a very, very high level of technology, and designed a form of life that they seeded on to, perhaps, this planet. Now that is a possibility, and an intriguing possibility. And I suppose it’s possible that you might find evidence for that if you look at details of biochemistry and molecular biology, you might find a signature of some form of designer.” Though his credit goes to a mythic designer, it is indeed true that a signature of a designer can be seen in life all around us with lessons for us to learn about his characteristics

Faith enhancement

This constant awareness enhances one’s faith and ensures growth. God is constantly acting on behalf of individuals, protecting them against harm that could’ve otherwise come upon them. A lack of this awareness causes one to obliviously go through situations and miss the opportunity to see the acts of God and even think that it was of their own doing that they were able to go through. What gave David the confidence that he would be able to defeat Goliath was that he had previously observed the working of God when he defeated a lion and a bear. On the contrary, the rest of the army of Israel was afraid of Goliath because they had missed the lesson that it was God who had defeated on their behalf in previous wars and battles. Our faith in God is therefore enhanced because one becomes well acquainted with how he operates to save us on a day to day basis.

A famous Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias puts it this way: Faith in the biblical sense is substantive, based on the knowledge that the One in whom that faith is placed has proven that He is worthy of that trust. In its essence, faith is a confidence in the person of Jesus Christ and in His power, so that even when His power does not serve my end, my confidence in Him remains because of who He is.

Morality

It is only common sense that people cannot do somethings in front of certain people. Reasons for this differ according to the relationship they have with the other person. The same can be seen in the relationship Joseph had with God. This is seen in his response when faced with Temptation to sleep with his Master’s wife, “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” It is the awareness of God’s omnipresence that will help most of us to avoid situations that will put disappointment on God’s face. Before every temptation that we encounter, God weighs whether we would be able to overcome or not and only allows those which we can overcome. Paul puts this way: No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13). I can only imagine his dismay when we succumb to temptation on which victory is guaranteed. The creator of the universe is indeed in constant interaction with his creation and awareness of this is a necessity to our existence. A daily consult for his guidance is a great starting step to this great consciousness.